First, some context. Currently, for those of you who might be unaware, gay marriage is at the forefront of many political conversations happening in my home state (that'd be North Carolina). On May 8th, North Carolinians who who head to the polls will find on their ballots a proposed amendment to the state's constitution (Amendment One, to be exact). Folks will be voting for or against the following language: Marriage between one man and one woman is the only domestic legal union that shall be valid or recognized in this State. This section does not prohibit a private party from entering into contracts with another private party; nor does this section prohibit courts from adjudicating the rights of private parties pursuant to such contracts. With this particular wording, gay and lesbian couples aren't the only ones that will be affected. (Read more about that in a New York Times editorial here.) There's more to this amendment than gay marriage. But since that particular facet seems to be a main point of disagreement between sides in the debate, it is mainly what I mention here. And I write this acknowledging that these are my own opinions, knowing that not everyone will agree with what I say completely or even a little bit.
First of all, I feel like I need to say that personally, I don't think who marries whom should even be a political issue in the first place. Or any sort of issue. The way I see it, marriage is a very intimate thing between two people who love each other. Folks are going to love whomever they're going to love, whether or not they can get a document to prove it. I just feel like there are so many other things that we could be pouring our political and emotional energy in to (trying to combat poverty and violence, improving education...). If you ask me, we need to be filling our lives with efforts to help people, not hurt them. One Charlotte Observer article that I'd highly recommend you checking out: "No one is hurt by gay marriage". (If that didn't tip you off, and in the interest of full disclosure: I voted against Amendment One.)
The fact of the matter is that, whether it should be or not, this is an ongoing debate, and realistically, it is unfortunately one that will probably be continuing for a while. So I'll settle with clarifying that my words here are not my attempt at telling other people that they have to believe exactly the same things I do, nor are they an effort to start any hostile arguments. Everyone is entitled to his or her own opinion. Sure, I wish everybody agreed with me on this, but these words are simply my attempt at taking part in the conversation.
Almost as controversial as the amendment itself are the arguments that religion should or should not play a part in the discussion. Friends, whether we want it to be or not, religion is part of the discussion. The thoughts and actions of a person with a firm (or not so firm) set of spiritual convictions will undoubtedly be influenced by those beliefs. Seeing as most major world religions have some form of a treat-your-neighbor-as-yourself commandment, religious influence on our actions can, in theory, be a good thing. But of course that's not always the case.
Given our propensity to include our faith in the way we make decisions, church leaders are in a powerful spot. I know not everybody out there is voting or speaking out of faith-filled motivation, and that is totally cool. Regardless, spirituality is a very real part of many people, many cultures, and the ways we live our lives. Church leaders on both sides of the Amendment One conversation have not let this go unnoticed.
Clergy and other people of faith are speaking out in favor of Amendment One...
...and against it. (In addition to the video below, you can read this letter signed by five different religious leaders in Davidson.)
Without a doubt, my religious beliefs are a major motivation behind the way I voted on this amendment. We are called to love one another. And that includes all of the "anothers" with which we share this earth, whether we agree or disagree with another's lifestyle or political views or the fact that they like the beach instead of the mountains. We are called to love one another.
I find myself struggling daily with judging people who judge people. I see or hear someone speaking harsh or hateful words about another person or group of people and instantly the wheels start turning..."Oh, he/she is so judgemental. How could anyone say something like that? He/she clearly doesn't understand how Jesus taught us to live." Who the heck made me the authority on that?! Or at the very least, I'll hear these people and think "Stop arguing! Just get along! Why are you being so mean?!" Uh...I hate to break it to you folks (and self), but that whole "love your neighbor" deal? Sometimes our neighbors include our enemies. Besides, Jesus didn't exactly pick the most popular kids on the block to make friends with.
Speaking from my own personal Christian context, I think that the Church as a whole has such wonderful potential to be an advocate for change. I don't mean to go out and change everybody to be just like us. I don't mean that at all. What I mean is that we have been given such grace, mercy and love that it is only fitting we share it. With everyone. This is a very difficult task, and by no means always fun. But this world is so full of hurt and exclusion and judgment, that wouldn't it magnificent if we didn't add to that? This morning in church, we sang a hymn called "They'll Know We Are Christians By Our Love." My heart broke a little when I saw that title in the bulletin, because the first thing I thought when I read it: "Well...that might not always be true." So friends, if you are those viewing Amendment One through a Christian lens, I urge you to work towards making the title of that hymn a reality. And if it's another lens you're looking through, maybe just try and operate under the assumption that helping and including people is generally a better idea than hurting and excluding them.
While it should be clear by now that I hope Amendment One won't pass, my primary motivation for writing this isn't to try and shove that down your throats. Of course I would encourage those of you who are registered to vote in North Carolina to consider voting against it, but it is your prerogative to think and vote as you wish. What I urge you to do, more than just vote the same way I did, is to continue moving forward in this conversation (which is by no means confined to one state or faith community) with open minds and open hearts. This is not just a North Carolinian discussion, not just a religious discussion. Regardless of the current amendment up for voting in North Carolina, there are laws in many, many states (North Carolina included) that prohibit gay and lesbian couples from getting married. And in my opinion, it is only through thoughtful and genuine conversation that we as a society can move forward.
Love,
Allison
PS - If you're into music and interested in hearing more from the "against" side of this conversation, here are a couple videos I think you'll enjoy. The first is a song about the amendment, with thoughtful comments sprinkled in from various North Carolinians. The second is "NC Amendment One: The Musical!!" And it's just awesome.
No comments:
Post a Comment