A few months ago in New Orleans, during an attempt to clean my room, I came across my collection of YAV papers. This particular stack included the "Rule of Life" I wrote on closing retreat with my fellow Nashville YAVs in 2011. I remember being intimidated by this task when our group was presented with it (I mean...a rule of life?), but as we YAV(A)s are trained to do, I dutifully obliged in the self growth experiment. Here's what I came up with more than a year ago, exactly how I wrote it then...
Rule of Life
1. Trust in the fact that God knows what God is doing.
2. Be sure to remember that you are not alone.
3. Spend time outside with God.
4. Be intentional about building strong relationships.
5. Never forget to be thankful.
6. Live with hope that the Church can be a positive, loving example to the world.
7. Pray.
I stared at that paper for a good while, when I found it. Between all the doodles (surprise), there were those words that captured what was most important to me as I approached the end of a volunteer year in Tennessee. If I were to rewrite that list after my year in New Orleans I'd change some wording around a little, maybe re-order them too. If I wrote a new list, not all of the above sentences would be on it, and perhaps some would be added.
I'm thankful that I found that little paper, as crumpley and folded as it is. I could've easily thrown it out over the course of the thirteen or so months since I wrote it, but just reading it again gave me the chance to see how I've changed this year. And I'm certain that if I'd written a Rule of Life before starting my year in Nashville, the list above would've shown a great deal of change too. Maybe I'll try and write a yearly Rule of Life. I'm (mentally) working on a revised edition for my current self, but I'm quite positive that many, many new life-changing experiences are heading my way. And anyway, the phrase "rule of life" seems important enough that it seems a little absurd to not allow room for growth and adaptation.
Shortly after I moved away from New Orleans, I received a lovely little note from my NOLA housemate Jillian, and she including the following quotation. (She likes quotations. Read more of her picks here!)
“We never stop being who we are in life. Instead, we become more of who we are meant to be through all the changes and challenges we face because from every battle fought and every trial endured comes the opportunity for us to grow more. When our life takes us by surprise, when it doesn’t turn out quite how we expected, we initiate our dreams by implementing our own goals as we are inspired by what our lives hold for us now. Sometimes we need to stop questioning where life is taking us and just go, letting faith lead the way and making things happen by opening our hearts...For when we keep our hearts opened, we see the magic from the beauty life has start to come alive around us." (Jenna Kandyce Linch)
I've come back to those words more than once since I received them. I am quick to say that I am a very different person than the Allison that moved to Nashville after college. The YAV program without a doubt changed my life. But maybe, technically, I'm the same person I've always been, and I've just been figuring out exactly what that means.
I met with my home church's session recently, as part of my journey to seminary and hopefully ordained ministry. During the prayer at the end of our time together, the pastor said something along these lines: "May Allison at times be very, very uncomfortable, and at times may she be very, very comfortable." That first part is pretty darn intimidating, if for nothing else than I'm absolutely positive uncomfy times are heading my way. But I'm guessing those will be incredibly transformative, just as my YAV years were.
So who knows what my Rule of Life might be a year from now, or three years from now, or a decade from now. I s'pose I'll just have to wait and see.
Love,
Allison.
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